Secrets of the a Game
Secrets of…
The “A” Game
By Logan Edwards
Los Angeles, CA
Secrets of the “A” Game
Published by
Sweetleaf Publishing
Los Angeles, CA
www.sweetleafpublishing.com
Copyright ® 2008 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages or reproduce illustrations in a review with appropriate credits; nor may any part of this book be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any electronic means, mechanical photocopying, recording, or other, without written permission from the publisher.
ISBN: 978-0-9776505-0-7
Printed in the United States of America
Cover and Interior Design: Chad Perry
Editing: Chad Perry
Copyediting and Proofreading: Jessica Keet
Cover Illustration: Audrey Botha
LIMIT OF LIABILITY/DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY: THE PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR HAVE USED THEIR BEST EFFORTS IN PREPARING THIS BOOK. THE PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES WITH RESPECT TO THE ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF THE CONTENTS OF THIS BOOK AND SPECIFICALLY DISCLAIM ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. THERE ARE NO WARRANTIES WHICH EXTEND BEYOND THE DESCRIPTIONS CONTAINED IN THIS PARAGRAPH. NO WARRANTY MAY BE CREATED OR EXTENDED BY SALES REPRESENTATIVES OR WRITTEN SALES MATERIALS. THE ACCURACY AND COMPLETENESS OF THE INFORMATION PROVIDED HEREIN AND THE OPINIONS STATED HEREIN ARE NOT GUARANTEED OR WARRANTED TO PRODUCE ANY PARTICULAR RESULTS, AND THE ADVICE AND STRATEGIES CONTAINED HEREIN MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR EVERY INDIVIDUAL. NEITHER THE PUBLISHER NOR AUTHOR SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY LOSS OF PROFIT OR ANY OTHER COMMERCIAL DAMAGES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR OTHER DAMAGES.
Contents
2
Contents 4
Prologue 9
Chapter 1: Introduction 14
Chapter 2: Myths about meeting and attracting women 19
Myth #1: Just be yourself 19
Myth #2: Be nice and women will be attracted to you 20
Myth #3: Women don’t want men they don’t know to talk to them 21
Myth #4: You have to be a millionaire, athlete, or model to attract women 22
Myth #5: Women know what they’re looking for, so they’ll find you 22
Myth #6: Meeting women takes lots of time, energy, and money 23
Myth #7: Guys can “convince” women into liking them 24
Myth #8: Women have it easy because guys are always talking to them 25
Myth #9: Women only want boyfriends and husbands, not just sex 26
Myth #10: You’re no good with women and you aren’t going to get better 26
Chapter 3: Rules on Meeting and Attracting Women 27
Rule #1: Love your single life 27
Rule #2: Own your attitude 28
Rule #3: Look and feel your best 29
Rule #4: Act fast, never hesitate 30
Rule #5: Keep an open mind 30
Rule #6: Don’t be nice, don’t be a jerk, always be interesting 31
Rule #7: Don’t trade your status for a woman’s approval 32
Rule #8: Focus on her, not on yourself 33
Rule #9: It’s always your fault 34
Rule #10: Never give up 35
Chapter 4: Adjusting Your Attitude 37
Why Guys Don’t Approach Women 37
Male Sexual Confidence 43
Gaining Confidence 46
Confidence Exercises 49
Attitude Checklist 52
Chapter 5: Preparing Yourself 53
First Impressions 53
Start off on the right foot 54
Grooming 55
Grooming Basics 55
Specifics 58
Style 60
Choosing the Right Clothes 60
The Basics 63
The Finer Details 65
Creating a Girl-Friendly Environment 68
Your Car 69
Your House or Apartment 69
Style and Grooming Checklist 70
Chapter 6: Understanding Women 72
What Women Say Versus What They Do 72
Women and Emotions 73
Treating Women as Women 74
Respecting Women 75
Types of Women 77
Sexual Self-Esteem 82
Conclusion 85
Chapter 7: What Women Want 86
Guy Traits That Women Hate 87
Traits Women Seek in Men 90
What Women Notice When You Approach 97
Conclusion 101
Chapter 8: Where to Meet Women 103
Types of Encounters 103
Friendly 106
Where Women Are 106
Malls 107
Grocery Stores 108
Fitness Clubs 109
Co-Ed Sports Leagues 109
Hardware Stores 110
Bars and Clubs 111
Beaches and Parks 111
Cafés 112
Restaurants 112
Public Transportation 113
Weddings 114
Churches 114
Bookstores and Libraries 115
Classes 116
Workplace 116
Conclusion 117
Chapter 9: Introduction to Meeting and Attracting Women 119
Open 119
Hook 119
Attract 120
Connect 120
Close 121
Chapter 10: Open 123
What’s an Opener? 123
Getting Started with Openers 124
Pick a Good Location 124
Demonstrate Social Value 125
Work the Room 126
Use Indirect Openers 127
Time Constraints 128
Teasing 129
Approaching Singles and Groups 131
Singles 131
Groups 132
Moving Groups 133
Mixed Groups 134
Seated Groups 135
Take Control of the Interaction 135
Conclusion 136
Chapter 11: Hook 137
Demonstrate Social Value 138
Arrive with female friends 138
Lead your group 139
Emotionally stimulate everyone around you 140
Tease attractive women 140
Disqualify attractive women as potential partners 141
Maintain your frame of mind 142
Enjoy yourself no matter the circumstances 143
Holding Interesting, Playful, and Flirtatious Conversations 143
Storytelling 145
Putting it all together 146
Stir the Conversational Pot 147
Sex, Dating, and Drama 148
Horoscopes and the Metaphysical 148
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous 149
Psychology 150
Conclusion 151
Should you stay or should you go? 151
Number Close 152
Disengage 153
Conclusion 153
Chapter 12: Attract 155
Frame Control 155
State Breakers 156
Basic Kino 158
Is she interested? 159
Maybe she’s not interested 160
Flirting 161
How to Flirt 161
Test Her Interest 165
Plan for the Close 166
You Get Her Phone Number 167
You Take Her Somewhere Else 167
You Take Her Home 167
Transitioning to the Connect Stage 167
When she’s alone 168
/> When she’s with a group 169
Conclusion 170
Chapter 13: Connect 172
Build rapport 172
Ask open-ended questions 174
Comfort and Rapport-Building Topics 174
Listen and Build on What She Says 175
Flowing versus Interviewing 176
Screen Her 178
Learn Her Buy Strategy 179
Desired Traits Into Desired Emotions 181
Capture Her Imagination 183
Examples 184
Link yourself to her desired emotional state 186
Accelerate Her Attraction 187
Conclusion 189
Chapter 14: Close 190
You Get Her Number 192
Typical responses to “When are you going to ask me out?” 195
You Ask For Her Number 196
Putting Phone Numbers to Good Use 197
Making the Call 201
You Make Out 204
Making Your Move 205
You Take Her Somewhere Else 207
Move to a New Location After You Meet 209
You Sleep With Her 210
She wants you, now what? 212
Conclusion 214
Chapter 15: Troubleshooting 216
Why She Might Not Want to Talk 216
Mistakes men make when approaching women 219
Before You Open 220
Open 221
Hook 222
Attract 224
Connect 225
Close 227
Plan B—Women Who Seek Sex 228
The Adventurer 231
Conclusion 233
Epilogue 234
Prologue
I have a confession to make. When I was growing up, from junior high all the way through college and beyond, I wasn’t successful with women. I wasn’t good looking, popular, wealthy, athletic, or particularly intelligent. I wasn’t cool in any sense of the word and I knew it. I accepted that I just wasn’t attractive to women and even though there was occasional interest and even a girlfriend or two, I was in no way successful with women in the way I truly wanted to be. I felt powerless when I met women and at the time I firmly held the belief that if any woman was ever attracted to me, I should feel extremely fortunate.
During my formative years I went out a lot and tried to meet women, but the vast majority of them simply weren’t interested in me. In high school I joined the tennis team, spiked my hair, bought new clothes, and even threw massive parties when my parents were out of town—anything I could do just so girls would notice me. What I would have said to them if they had actually noticed me I couldn’t begin to tell you, because they never did. Essentially, I was a computer nerd when no one had computers and I spent my free time playing Dungeons and Dragons and watching TV.
My college experience wasn’t any better than my high school experience, with the exception that I drank so much I wasn’t able to dwell on how unsuccessful I had become with women. Even with all the social activities I was involved in, including sporting events, mixers, house parties, study groups, and more, I still wasn’t attracting women. I went through some dark periods because I was learning more about the world and more about myself, and I realized that I wanted women to be a part of my life, but remained clueless on how to make it happen.
After I left school and got a job I spent a lot of time thinking about why I couldn’t attract the kind of women I desired. Unfortunately, since I had a decent job, all of my solutions revolved around buying the designer clothes, expensive furniture, and fancy cars that I was positive would reverse my fortunes. After all, from all of the commercials I watched, magazines I read, and music I listened to, if I just owned these products I would be surrounded by women. Of course I wasn’t surrounded by women even after buying all of these things and it completely shattered me. Happiness never came to me and by my mid-twenties I was beginning to think that it never would.
After working so hard on having all of the right possessions and flashing a lot of cash, I found I was only marginally more successful with women and it depressed me to no end. I thought to myself, I’m buying all of the things I’m being told I need to have in order to attract women and it’s not working. Because I was trying everything I knew how and it wasn’t working, I felt like a complete loser. I was just a few years out of college and I was depressed and isolated because I tried and failed at something I knew was important to my long-term happiness.
Does my life story and lack of success with women sound familiar?
Do you find yourself going out to bars to meet women and end up sitting alone the entire night? Do you see attractive women you want to talk to, but always talk yourself out of approaching? Do you see other guys and think they look better, have more money, and act cooler than you and because of that you could never compete with them? Do you get nervous and forget what to say or say stupid things when you meet women? Do you think everyone is looking at you and think they’ll laugh if a woman rejects you?
So did I. I was confused, frustrated, depressed, angry, sad, and ultimately…alone.
Like most others guys, I believed all of the myths that the media, society, and Corporate America continue to perpetuate to this very day. I thought that as long as I was nice to women and did everything they asked, they would fall madly in love with me. After all, women always say they want to find a nice guy, and my friends and family always told me to “just be myself.” Because I did what I was told and followed everyone’s advice, I ended up living a life of failure and rejection.
I stopped going out. I stopped looking at women. I stopped thinking about what I would say if I ever had a chance to meet women. I gave up on the prospect of ever finding someone special. Finally, I started to think about how I could find happiness in a life of near solitude, just so I didn’t have to face rejection and the fact that I wasn’t attractive to women. My days became filled with video games, reality TV, fast food, alcohol, porn, and a job I hated. But no matter how hard I tried to fill the void where companionship, laughter, love, and sex should have been, I couldn’t do it—the emptiness never went away.
Then one day, something happened…something changed.
I wish I could tell you I met a legend or I almost died or some other weird twist of fate that unequivocally changed my life forever, but it wasn’t anything nearly as dramatic. Since I had given up and stopped participating in society, all of the pressure that caused me to believe in the myths that had ruled and ultimately ruined my life, faded away. Eventually, since I was completely alone, I was left with only one person who I could listen to—my inner man. My inner man had drastically different ideas on how to get things done and as it turned out, those instincts were precisely what I needed to meet and attract women anywhere, anyplace, anytime.
In a sense, the very phenomenon of how women become attracted to men completely eluded me, until one day I was walking from the parking lot to the office I worked at and I saw a cute girl walking toward me. To this day, I can’t tell you why I acted against my usual routine, but instead of keeping my head down and completely ignoring this young woman, I slowed down a bit, made eye contact, and smiled at her. Almost instantly, she smiled back at me, so I slowly raised my arm, gave a very relaxed wave and said, “Hi.” At the time, what came next shocked me—she slowed down and said, “Hi” and then I watched her as she walked past me.
I smiled and said “Hi” to a woman and she responded positively—something that hadn’t happened in a long time. I knew that if I had stopped and talked to her, we probably would have had a really nice conversation and perhaps we would have met later for a drink. At the time, I’m not sure how I would have pulled that off, but for the first time in a long time, I saw possibility. I realized that if I could be happy with myself and my life, women would pick up on it and would be open to talking and possibly more. I figured out that it wasn’t the car I drove or the clothes on my back that created attraction, but my own attitude. Of course, this was only the begin
ning and I had a lot of learning to do, but I was determined that I would eventually be successful with women, no matter what it took.