Secrets of the a Game Read online

  Secrets of…

  The “A” Game

  By Logan Edwards

  Los Angeles, CA

  Secrets of the “A” Game

  Published by

  Sweetleaf Publishing

  Los Angeles, CA

  www.sweetleafpublishing.com

  Copyright ® 2008 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages or reproduce illustrations in a review with appropriate credits; nor may any part of this book be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any electronic means, mechanical photocopying, recording, or other, without written permission from the publisher.

  ISBN: 978-0-9776505-0-7

  Printed in the United States of America

  Cover and Interior Design: Chad Perry

  Editing: Chad Perry

  Copyediting and Proofreading: Jessica Keet

  Cover Illustration: Audrey Botha

  LIMIT OF LIABILITY/DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY: THE PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR HAVE USED THEIR BEST EFFORTS IN PREPARING THIS BOOK. THE PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES WITH RESPECT TO THE ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF THE CONTENTS OF THIS BOOK AND SPECIFICALLY DISCLAIM ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. THERE ARE NO WARRANTIES WHICH EXTEND BEYOND THE DESCRIPTIONS CONTAINED IN THIS PARAGRAPH. NO WARRANTY MAY BE CREATED OR EXTENDED BY SALES REPRESENTATIVES OR WRITTEN SALES MATERIALS. THE ACCURACY AND COMPLETENESS OF THE INFORMATION PROVIDED HEREIN AND THE OPINIONS STATED HEREIN ARE NOT GUARANTEED OR WARRANTED TO PRODUCE ANY PARTICULAR RESULTS, AND THE ADVICE AND STRATEGIES CONTAINED HEREIN MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR EVERY INDIVIDUAL. NEITHER THE PUBLISHER NOR AUTHOR SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY LOSS OF PROFIT OR ANY OTHER COMMERCIAL DAMAGES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR OTHER DAMAGES.

  Contents

  2

  Contents 4

  Prologue 9

  Chapter 1: Introduction 14

  Chapter 2: Myths about meeting and attracting women 19

  Myth #1: Just be yourself 19

  Myth #2: Be nice and women will be attracted to you 20

  Myth #3: Women don’t want men they don’t know to talk to them 21

  Myth #4: You have to be a millionaire, athlete, or model to attract women 22

  Myth #5: Women know what they’re looking for, so they’ll find you 22

  Myth #6: Meeting women takes lots of time, energy, and money 23

  Myth #7: Guys can “convince” women into liking them 24

  Myth #8: Women have it easy because guys are always talking to them 25

  Myth #9: Women only want boyfriends and husbands, not just sex 26

  Myth #10: You’re no good with women and you aren’t going to get better 26

  Chapter 3: Rules on Meeting and Attracting Women 27

  Rule #1: Love your single life 27

  Rule #2: Own your attitude 28

  Rule #3: Look and feel your best 29

  Rule #4: Act fast, never hesitate 30

  Rule #5: Keep an open mind 30

  Rule #6: Don’t be nice, don’t be a jerk, always be interesting 31

  Rule #7: Don’t trade your status for a woman’s approval 32

  Rule #8: Focus on her, not on yourself 33

  Rule #9: It’s always your fault 34

  Rule #10: Never give up 35

  Chapter 4: Adjusting Your Attitude 37

  Why Guys Don’t Approach Women 37

  Male Sexual Confidence 43

  Gaining Confidence 46

  Confidence Exercises 49

  Attitude Checklist 52

  Chapter 5: Preparing Yourself 53

  First Impressions 53

  Start off on the right foot 54

  Grooming 55

  Grooming Basics 55

  Specifics 58

  Style 60

  Choosing the Right Clothes 60

  The Basics 63

  The Finer Details 65

  Creating a Girl-Friendly Environment 68

  Your Car 69

  Your House or Apartment 69

  Style and Grooming Checklist 70

  Chapter 6: Understanding Women 72

  What Women Say Versus What They Do 72

  Women and Emotions 73

  Treating Women as Women 74

  Respecting Women 75

  Types of Women 77

  Sexual Self-Esteem 82

  Conclusion 85

  Chapter 7: What Women Want 86

  Guy Traits That Women Hate 87

  Traits Women Seek in Men 90

  What Women Notice When You Approach 97

  Conclusion 101

  Chapter 8: Where to Meet Women 103

  Types of Encounters 103

  Friendly 106

  Where Women Are 106

  Malls 107

  Grocery Stores 108

  Fitness Clubs 109

  Co-Ed Sports Leagues 109

  Hardware Stores 110

  Bars and Clubs 111

  Beaches and Parks 111

  Cafés 112

  Restaurants 112

  Public Transportation 113

  Weddings 114

  Churches 114

  Bookstores and Libraries 115

  Classes 116

  Workplace 116

  Conclusion 117

  Chapter 9: Introduction to Meeting and Attracting Women 119

  Open 119

  Hook 119

  Attract 120

  Connect 120

  Close 121

  Chapter 10: Open 123

  What’s an Opener? 123

  Getting Started with Openers 124

  Pick a Good Location 124

  Demonstrate Social Value 125

  Work the Room 126

  Use Indirect Openers 127

  Time Constraints 128

  Teasing 129

  Approaching Singles and Groups 131

  Singles 131

  Groups 132

  Moving Groups 133

  Mixed Groups 134

  Seated Groups 135

  Take Control of the Interaction 135

  Conclusion 136

  Chapter 11: Hook 137

  Demonstrate Social Value 138

  Arrive with female friends 138

  Lead your group 139

  Emotionally stimulate everyone around you 140

  Tease attractive women 140

  Disqualify attractive women as potential partners 141

  Maintain your frame of mind 142

  Enjoy yourself no matter the circumstances 143

  Holding Interesting, Playful, and Flirtatious Conversations 143

  Storytelling 145

  Putting it all together 146

  Stir the Conversational Pot 147

  Sex, Dating, and Drama 148

  Horoscopes and the Metaphysical 148

  Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous 149

  Psychology 150

  Conclusion 151

  Should you stay or should you go? 151

  Number Close 152

  Disengage 153

  Conclusion 153

  Chapter 12: Attract 155

  Frame Control 155

  State Breakers 156

  Basic Kino 158

  Is she interested? 159

  Maybe she’s not interested 160

  Flirting 161

  How to Flirt 161

  Test Her Interest 165

  Plan for the Close 166

  You Get Her Phone Number 167

  You Take Her Somewhere Else 167

  You Take Her Home 167

  Transitioning to the Connect Stage 167

  When she’s alone 168

/>   When she’s with a group 169

  Conclusion 170

  Chapter 13: Connect 172

  Build rapport 172

  Ask open-ended questions 174

  Comfort and Rapport-Building Topics 174

  Listen and Build on What She Says 175

  Flowing versus Interviewing 176

  Screen Her 178

  Learn Her Buy Strategy 179

  Desired Traits Into Desired Emotions 181

  Capture Her Imagination 183

  Examples 184

  Link yourself to her desired emotional state 186

  Accelerate Her Attraction 187

  Conclusion 189

  Chapter 14: Close 190

  You Get Her Number 192

  Typical responses to “When are you going to ask me out?” 195

  You Ask For Her Number 196

  Putting Phone Numbers to Good Use 197

  Making the Call 201

  You Make Out 204

  Making Your Move 205

  You Take Her Somewhere Else 207

  Move to a New Location After You Meet 209

  You Sleep With Her 210

  She wants you, now what? 212

  Conclusion 214

  Chapter 15: Troubleshooting 216

  Why She Might Not Want to Talk 216

  Mistakes men make when approaching women 219

  Before You Open 220

  Open 221

  Hook 222

  Attract 224

  Connect 225

  Close 227

  Plan B—Women Who Seek Sex 228

  The Adventurer 231

  Conclusion 233

  Epilogue 234

  Prologue

  I have a confession to make. When I was growing up, from junior high all the way through college and beyond, I wasn’t successful with women. I wasn’t good looking, popular, wealthy, athletic, or particularly intelligent. I wasn’t cool in any sense of the word and I knew it. I accepted that I just wasn’t attractive to women and even though there was occasional interest and even a girlfriend or two, I was in no way successful with women in the way I truly wanted to be. I felt powerless when I met women and at the time I firmly held the belief that if any woman was ever attracted to me, I should feel extremely fortunate.

  During my formative years I went out a lot and tried to meet women, but the vast majority of them simply weren’t interested in me. In high school I joined the tennis team, spiked my hair, bought new clothes, and even threw massive parties when my parents were out of town—anything I could do just so girls would notice me. What I would have said to them if they had actually noticed me I couldn’t begin to tell you, because they never did. Essentially, I was a computer nerd when no one had computers and I spent my free time playing Dungeons and Dragons and watching TV.

  My college experience wasn’t any better than my high school experience, with the exception that I drank so much I wasn’t able to dwell on how unsuccessful I had become with women. Even with all the social activities I was involved in, including sporting events, mixers, house parties, study groups, and more, I still wasn’t attracting women. I went through some dark periods because I was learning more about the world and more about myself, and I realized that I wanted women to be a part of my life, but remained clueless on how to make it happen.

  After I left school and got a job I spent a lot of time thinking about why I couldn’t attract the kind of women I desired. Unfortunately, since I had a decent job, all of my solutions revolved around buying the designer clothes, expensive furniture, and fancy cars that I was positive would reverse my fortunes. After all, from all of the commercials I watched, magazines I read, and music I listened to, if I just owned these products I would be surrounded by women. Of course I wasn’t surrounded by women even after buying all of these things and it completely shattered me. Happiness never came to me and by my mid-twenties I was beginning to think that it never would.

  After working so hard on having all of the right possessions and flashing a lot of cash, I found I was only marginally more successful with women and it depressed me to no end. I thought to myself, I’m buying all of the things I’m being told I need to have in order to attract women and it’s not working. Because I was trying everything I knew how and it wasn’t working, I felt like a complete loser. I was just a few years out of college and I was depressed and isolated because I tried and failed at something I knew was important to my long-term happiness.

  Does my life story and lack of success with women sound familiar?

  Do you find yourself going out to bars to meet women and end up sitting alone the entire night? Do you see attractive women you want to talk to, but always talk yourself out of approaching? Do you see other guys and think they look better, have more money, and act cooler than you and because of that you could never compete with them? Do you get nervous and forget what to say or say stupid things when you meet women? Do you think everyone is looking at you and think they’ll laugh if a woman rejects you?

  So did I. I was confused, frustrated, depressed, angry, sad, and ultimately…alone.

  Like most others guys, I believed all of the myths that the media, society, and Corporate America continue to perpetuate to this very day. I thought that as long as I was nice to women and did everything they asked, they would fall madly in love with me. After all, women always say they want to find a nice guy, and my friends and family always told me to “just be myself.” Because I did what I was told and followed everyone’s advice, I ended up living a life of failure and rejection.

  I stopped going out. I stopped looking at women. I stopped thinking about what I would say if I ever had a chance to meet women. I gave up on the prospect of ever finding someone special. Finally, I started to think about how I could find happiness in a life of near solitude, just so I didn’t have to face rejection and the fact that I wasn’t attractive to women. My days became filled with video games, reality TV, fast food, alcohol, porn, and a job I hated. But no matter how hard I tried to fill the void where companionship, laughter, love, and sex should have been, I couldn’t do it—the emptiness never went away.

  Then one day, something happened…something changed.

  I wish I could tell you I met a legend or I almost died or some other weird twist of fate that unequivocally changed my life forever, but it wasn’t anything nearly as dramatic. Since I had given up and stopped participating in society, all of the pressure that caused me to believe in the myths that had ruled and ultimately ruined my life, faded away. Eventually, since I was completely alone, I was left with only one person who I could listen to—my inner man. My inner man had drastically different ideas on how to get things done and as it turned out, those instincts were precisely what I needed to meet and attract women anywhere, anyplace, anytime.

  In a sense, the very phenomenon of how women become attracted to men completely eluded me, until one day I was walking from the parking lot to the office I worked at and I saw a cute girl walking toward me. To this day, I can’t tell you why I acted against my usual routine, but instead of keeping my head down and completely ignoring this young woman, I slowed down a bit, made eye contact, and smiled at her. Almost instantly, she smiled back at me, so I slowly raised my arm, gave a very relaxed wave and said, “Hi.” At the time, what came next shocked me—she slowed down and said, “Hi” and then I watched her as she walked past me.

  I smiled and said “Hi” to a woman and she responded positively—something that hadn’t happened in a long time. I knew that if I had stopped and talked to her, we probably would have had a really nice conversation and perhaps we would have met later for a drink. At the time, I’m not sure how I would have pulled that off, but for the first time in a long time, I saw possibility. I realized that if I could be happy with myself and my life, women would pick up on it and would be open to talking and possibly more. I figured out that it wasn’t the car I drove or the clothes on my back that created attraction, but my own attitude. Of course, this was only the begin
ning and I had a lot of learning to do, but I was determined that I would eventually be successful with women, no matter what it took.